Saturday, December 27, 2003
i realised some things 2day..
1. i'm really vvv negative abt life. i'v always tot life sux, but i din realise how much more i really hated it than i tot i did.
2. pple arnd me nv seem to b able to understand anything abt me. everything i do, everything dat goes thru my mind is a total mystery to them. not lyk i care though. sumtimes i just wish dat every1 disappears from my life.
3. i dun think i'm afraid of death. dun plan to live v long anw. wld love to die right now.
4. think i suffer from periodic depression. schizophrenic mayb?
5. every1's lives suck. it's just a matter of the level of suckiness. i can easily think of 5pple who's life sux as much as mine.
6. it's vvv hard to find happiness in life. happiness is fleeting.short-lived.blah.wadeva. or shd i say,
COMPLETELY NON-EXISTENT?
7. crying is stupid and useless cos tears r worthless. only pathetic pple cry.
8. i haf alot of secrets dat i dun tell pple abt. they'r all weighing me downdowndown.. but i lyk it dis way. dun lyk pple to noe anything abt me cos i dun nid any1 to understand me.
9. the 1 u love the most is nv the 1 who loves u the most. but in the 1st place, how do u define 'love'? and no, there's nth wrong between me and him. i'm just kina disillusioned.
10. pple r nv wad they seem to b on the outside. u can nv read another person's mind, nv noe another person inside-out, nv understand how another person feels abt sth, nv predict wad another person will do or say next, nv tell if another person is telling the truth,...
no, i'm not crazy.mad.blah.wadeva. i'v just seen thru life and i'm sick of living. if i had a choice, i wldv been dead a long time ago. i'm just waiting for sth to happen, waiting for the worst to come, waiting for the last straw, den i'll happily.gladly.eagerly depart from dis hell of a place called earth without any hesitation. there's nth to hold me back, nth worth living for, nth dat i will wan to take with me in death. nth.
if u ask me, i'll tell u dat there's
no raison d'etre (reason for existence).
not at all.
random thoughts at 7:41:00 AM
